Mother-in-law.

Normally i don't post that much about personal stuff, not that I don't want to share, but I try to keep the blog somewhat separate from family life. Not that it is so special, I take care of two kids, two cats (one thinks he's a dog, really, I'm not joking) one huge dog and the dear husband. I clean, I cook, I'm taxi-mom, nothing special, things any mom would do. We all have our ups and downs in RL, for me writing is escaping that. I'm ever so thankful for the numerous new friends (readers and writers alike!) I've made along the road.

But sometimes there are things that happen beyond our control that shake up ones life. Yesterday proved to be such a day. My job is to act as normal as I can (think I trained that condition to perfection) and be strong and rational for everyone around me. Sadly this treat, sometimes makes me look like a stone cold bitch because I can switch of the " I care" button in my head when it's needed and just go on with things.

Sigh, that's all I can do. most wouldn't have said so, but yesterday is a day I rather didn't see happening.
Cutting to the chase, my mom-in-law was suspected to have had a brain stroke. She wasn't acting normal at all. So yesterday my two sisters-in-law, took matters into their own hands, called up her GP and made sure he would visit in the afternoon.
Our suspicions were proven right, she must have had a minor stroke some days ago. now the worst part of it all is her GP wants her to go to the hospital for observation for at least 24h. She's refusing to do so because of an inhumane fear of hospitals(you can safely add doctors and nurses to that list, it's all the same in her mind).
We're not going to force her to go because we know it will only affect her in a bad way. she's physically not in the best of shapes, high blood pressure, holding up water and a few more things... a long list.

So now we're left with the conclusion that she could either just die in her sleep tomorrow or can go on for weeks/months/years with out anything happening.

Sighs again. I've given up almost all of my side of the family, just my mom, grandmother and brother left. I really don't want to think about giving up more people in the foreseeable future.
I wish I could knock some common sense into that woman that I hold so dear and is normally such a fierce lioness for all her grandchildren. It pains me being told she's having a droopy face, slurred speech, is forgetting things, sleeps all the time, smiles all the time and when asked why she smiles, she doesn't know.

Husband spoke to her last night on the phone and it seems like she's just hanging in there and letting everything happen. We have made peace with the fact we don't expect her to get really old, simply because of her fear for hospitals and blatantly rude behavior to her GP and any person related to anything medicinal.

But it still hurts that she can't at least try and pull her self together, even not for our sake but for her 6 grandchildren.

There my rant is over, I just needed to get this of my chest. Sucking it up now and back into strong normal mommy mode.